Journal of a crossdreamer

The predicament of so many crossdreamers and autogynephiliacs around us - the crisis regarding one's identity, the conflict with one's sexuality and the contradictions regarding sexual fantasies. These are things many of us live with, for as long as we can remember, and as we age, the problems only amplify making it worse. It always feels great to find a compatriot who can lucidly express his feelings which closely resembles ours. Coming out is hard to do, but not knowing coming out of what and into what is even harder. Here I present to you an excerpt from a beautifully written piece by a fellow crossdreamer. The link to the original post can be found below. Read on... I am sure that you'll think that you're reading a page from your own diary.

" I'm biologically 
    male and am all in all 

    confident and comfortable with my 

    gender, except when it comes 

   to sex

I can only turn myself on by imagining  c 

myself as a woman. . . since I was 12 I've had  c 

sexual fantasies of inhabiting a female body  c

                                                                                                                                                               "

Since I was 12 I've had sexual fantasies of inhabiting a female body. This desire ebbs and flows, it is not consistent, I do not find myself desiring to be a female for the most part of my waking  consciousness, and neither do I feel out of place in my male body. I cannot, however, become sexually aroused unless I imagine myself as a female - even during the brief sexual encounters I've had in my life, for most of them I could only turn myself on by imagining myself as a woman, and having lesbian sex with my partner. I of course, did not tell her this - and for contiguous reasons, the relationship did not last very long; I was scared of intimacy.

The fantasies follow a simple formula. I'm a beautiful woman - perfect - an ideal object of desire. It's a narcissistic vision: The purpose of becoming a woman is not so that I can be penetrated, if I imagine that it is simply to enhance my femininity, and thus my status as an object of desire. Simply the image of a woman masturbating on a bed, or caressing her own body, or even the fantasy of men magically transforming into women, and enduring the physical change from male to female, is enough to turn me on (websites such as www.tgcomics.com or movies like 'Dr Jeckyll and Ms Hyde' are examples of this fantasy - check them out). I ejaculate to these fantasies. Ordinary heterosexual porn isn't enough for me to form a desire to ejaculate to - and furthermore the sensation of masturbation, of the rubbing and caressing of the penis, in my mind is not attached to the reality of penetration, of my penis inhabiting a receptacle - instead, during masturbation the sensation is associated in my mind as the sensation of what a woman feels during the sexual act. 

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For men who love transsexuals

Men Who Love Transsexuals

By Gianna E. Israel

This article is for you if you're a heterosexual or bisexual man seeking a relationship with a transsexual woman or are a guy looking for a girl with something extra. There are many reasons why a man might be attracted to a transsexual, much like there are numerous stereotypes that can undermine potential friendships and relationships. Read further to learn about the basics.

What's In a Name?

It helps to know exactly what you are looking for, because there are many types of transgender people. Generally a transsexual or new woman perceives herself as a female. After hormones and painful electrolysis, she may undergo a variety of surgeries. On the other hand, a crossdresser is a male who enjoys female attire, and might even be interested in dating a man once or twice. Yet, crossdressers generally are not interested in surgery or self-identifying as a woman. Gay males who crossdress for stage and playtime are also not interested in womanhood. Transgenders are persons who like keeping parts of both gender and most accurately meet the description "best of both worlds."

All of that is a very narrow snapshot of transgender people who present as female, part or full-time. Go ahead and ask a potential partner about her goals and dreams. Ask how she identifies herself. And, share what you are looking for. Is it a dream date, a friendship or a relationship?

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Serenity...

oh yes, I lust for him...

but it's the kind of lust that calms you down... that makes you look into the deepest crevices of your soul ...

the prima donna of my dreams...

Everything a man can want...

She is everything a man wants... She is everything most men will never get... She will provoke you... Torture your reality and your dreams... She is Cassandra Moore from Canada...

Oh and did I mention? She is a man... So, maybe I should change the introduction to... 

An invitation...

some of you may or may not recollect memories of my time in tumblr, memories of the blog 'other side of the line'... after dumping it over 6-8 months back(in retrospect: one of the stupidest decisions in this person's small lifespan), a lot has transpired... now I'll be broadening my horizon... from posting exclusively on androgyny(which was the motif of my last tryst with blogging), I'll be moving to a more general arena... from captions to stories, from news to discussions.... feel free to jump into the bandwagon as we, who are on the 'other side of the line' move farther away from it... let's celebrate and cherish our fantasies and transgressions...   let's blur the lines once more... let the gynandromorphophiles, the autogyne/androphiles, the transgenders and the members from all parts  of the LGBTQ spectrum come together and party... cheerio...